The NEW Super Flu


As anyone with kids can tell you, the ‘Super Virus’ that will eventually wipe out all of humanity, is being bred, right now, in school across the globe.

What an ingenious way of making sure everyone is infected and that the ‘Super Virus’ is as potent as possible!.

Children are a bit gross. Snot oozing and just being flung around. Coughing and then touching of absolutely everything!

Everything! So, sick can’t make it to the bathroom in time, but can touch ever centimeter of surface in whatever room they (sick, germ, spreading minions) happen to be in.

 That being said, Dearest Husband, now has IT. Super mystery virus that I will take them to the doctor’s to check.,I am hearing a bit of a gurgle/wheeze with E-man so I want to make sure he doesn’t have pneumonia or some other suitably nasty secondary crap caused by the first round of crap.

When my lovely and most wonderful husband called late yesterday afternoon, from work, I could hear it in his voice. If you have a husband, boyfriend, brother, dad – whatever, if a male gets a cold- it is the end of the world.

That’s it, it is OVER, order the coffin. Call the Rabbi, Priest, Pastor, Shaman, Best-est drinking buddy, because the End is Nigh!

 So, I took a bottle of Cold and Flu (generic NyQuil type stuff), then balanced a little bottle of that Zinc stuff (that is supposed to keep you from getting whatever) and then balanced a bottle of Generic Robitussin on top of that. Because Some people in the house don’t believe me when I say things like ‘cough syrups don’t work- try honey’.

I am just cool like that.

Meanwhile, it hit me about dinner time, and the doctor’s did say that I ‘may experience drop attacks’ if my allergies get really bad or out of control or if I get a cold/flu, something along those lines.

Now, at no time, did anyone say anything about this completely f’ing everything up!

I was told that I am on of precious few, less than 5%-10% of the population that will have Menier’s in both ears- Awesome.

Which lead me to my next issue. I have meetings this week, phone meetings, where I will need to hear- this cold/flu/misc whatever virus, has turned off about 90% of my hearing. Which sucks immensely.

Anyway, I am off to see if I can get the one non-sick kid to school. I will take my stick too, because, I noticed last night, while I wasn’t hearing (do to the incredibly loud constant noises I hear that no one else can hear) that my balance is all off again.

Peachy.

So on that note kiddos I am off to the bus stop.

There is an upside to all of this. If I can’t hear, I can’t hear the whining. ;-)

have fun folks, and please, keep your fingers out of your mouth, nose and eyes. And wash your hands often- Please

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