I was recently offered a very unique job opportunity. I am actually thinking about it. One of my readers contacted me about this job. I have known this reader for many years and her daughter is doing it and loves it. The job is pretty simple. I would be teaching people how to speak English. These people already know English, but are working or studying in the US and just want to speak better English. This is where I start to see an issue. I am not sure that I am the right person do this. Everything is handled over the internet/phone. There are some scripts involved and from what I understand, my job would be to correct the student, if needed, so that they will sound like they grew up speaking English. I have a few small issues.
First, there is a reason why on my Facebook profile, I do not list English as a language I speak. I blog like I speak, so there are usually enough English grammar mistakes in one blog page to give a real English teacher a stroke. Oh, it just occurred to me that, that may be why a friend of mine, who does teach English, doesn’t read my blog. It is probably very painful. I don’t feel that I even speak Proper English, perhaps bad American English, which I have decided is another language entirely. I am fairly certain that the British speak proper English. I am not really sure what to call what I speak, but it is not ‘proper’ whatever you want to call it.
Now, if this company is looking for people to teach the proper usage of certain American English words or phrases, then I am all in. I could specialize and teach when and how to properly use the work F**k. That is such an important and versatile word and using it properly is imperative. Did you know, that the word F**k can be used as any part of speech? Go ahead and try it, I will wait.
See what I mean? I wouldn’t really have to limit myself to that one word. diversity is a wonderful thing. I could also teach the word ‘idjit’ which another word that is very important and I use it frequently. Oh, I have a whole list of words that anyone wanting to sound like an American should be acquainted with. A few of my personal favorites are; Moron, dumb-ass, Trailer and Dude. You know all the really important words. I am not entirely convinced that I am the right person for the job. But, since this is a public post, I am at least giving the company all of the information they really need in order to make an informed decision. That is, if I apply. The other really interesting job I am looking at is writing for a college sports blog. I have already done 2 articles that have been published and apparently well received, but I am not sure that is the direction I really want to go. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love my football! I am pretty fond of money too. But, do I really want to write about it every week? I don’t know. I am doing it anyway. Hey, they are paying pretty well for my crazy opinion, so I’ll keep watching my games and write about it on Sunday, while my darling husband watches the Chiefs take on the Vikings. You never know, the Vikings are 0-3 too, anything could happen. Right now, I will concentrate on this K-State vs Baylor game. I do love purple.